Let Me Kiss You
by RattusLabRat
Summary: Grissom looked her in the eye and shrugged. “I don’t know why I came here Sara.” He stood up and made his way to the front door. “I’ll see myself out.”


**Let Me Kiss You**

**Disclaimer: **_Due to lack of enthusiasm on my part I've decided to have a break from **An American Werewolf In Vegas** and I've started writing other stories. Now don't worry I haven't abandoned it, I just won't be updating for another few weeks. Sorry guys. The quote that I've is used is by Sophocles…erm I actually don't know who he/she is._

There's a place in the sun for anyone  
Who has the will  
Chase one and I think I found mine  
Yes I do believe I have found mine.  
So, close your eyes  
And think of someone you physically admire  
And let me kiss you, oh.  
Let me kiss you, oh.

Let Me Kiss You – Morrissey, You Are The Quarry

He had given everything to Sara Sidle, but it wasn't enough. Nowadays nothing was enough, he had to be that better person, try harder and feel more than he usually felt. He wanted to feel alive again instead of the dull throb of loneliness that had buried it's way inside of his heart. Emotions nowadays were troublesome things; he didn't want to show all and feel open to the world and weak. Privacy was one of the things Gil Grissom appreciated in life; having that taken away from him would leave him a broken man.

He was weary yes, tired of course…but something inside of him wouldn't shut down, this was the fourth day he hadn't been able to sleep. Drifting in and out of consciousness, his thought's always drifting back to Sara. He was a torn man, inside and out. He needed release from the constraints of his life, he felt as if he were a prisoner locked up inside his body, not willing to show itself.

_Before you show your true self…it might be too late Gil.._

Time, everything was about time. Seconds turned into minutes, minutes turned into hours and hours turned into days. Days that Grissom needed, life was too short, he was nearing fifty and what did he have to show for it? An office filled with experiments and bugs, his house was filled with framed butterflies and entomology books. He had no partner, he didn't have a soul anymore. Gil Grissom _was_ a broken man.

His heart was closed off to the true world, nobody knew the real Grissom. The Grissom Catherine Willows knew was a shell of it's former self. This lonely grieving fool wasn't the Grissom Catherine would like to remember.

Standing up from the couch he was sitting on he rubbed his weary eyes and let out a painful sigh. Life was nothing more but existence and in this case existence to Grissom was only a game. His work HAD been his life, there was a time he wouldn't have been able to conjure up a life without it, but those years had passed and new ones were on the horizon and scared him to death.

He pictured a smiling Sara Sidle, that edible gap between her teeth on show for him, the big brown eyes that he had grown to love. This woman was his life now, not his work yet the woman he loved had moved on, she was now married to a man that could never be Gil Grissom. He was tall, good looking with a sharp sense of humour; Grissom had witnessed first hand how they both interacted with each other. The slight touches, the small shy smiles. Those smiles were smiles of love and passion. He was jealous that someone had taken his Sara Sidle and made her forget about him. Her first true love.

The wedding had been simple, Sara's wedding dress flowed behind her like a stream of white silk, she looked angelic. Her curls bouncing ever so slightly as she made her way down the aisle. The groom, a Jordan Banks had stood patiently at the altar waiting for his blushing bride. Grissom had grit his teeth as he had watched her, smiling at her husband to be, not a care in the world. His heart had broken then and there and nothing on earth could mend the gaping hole that had once held trust and devotion.

Who was he kidding? It was too late, there was nothing he could do now but watch her from afar, when she sat in the break room eating her lunch or reading a magazine. They had drifted so far apart that no words were said between them now, no lingering touches anymore. There was a frankness in the air whenever they were together that frightened others from mentioning the harshness both Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom lived in.

She wasn't Sara Sidle anymore though, she was Sara Banks but in Grissom's mind she would always be Sara Sidle, the tall brunette that wouldn't stop bombarding him with questions ten years ago. She was a woman, a woman who was trying to have a child with her devoted husband. Grissom and Jordan had never gotten on; Sara must have spilled her secrets to her husband of Grissom's rejection, his ignorance and his willingness to push her away.

He walked slowly to his bathroom, his feet sliding along his cold wooden floors. He looked at himself in his bathroom mirror and winced inwardly. It was obvious he needed a good nights sleep. His face looked pained. He WAS in pain, a pain that could never be taken away; it was a gut wrenching pain that would stay with him forever. The coolness of the water that hit his tired face jolted him, his blue eyes becoming that bit clearer. He needed to see her, to tell her how he felt. Maybe, just maybe it might ease the pain.

HE STOOD OUTSIDE her door, his hand lifted in mid air. Her house was exactly how he had pictured it, the garden perfect, brightly coloured flowers adorning it with rose bushes and sunflowers. He closed his eyes and sighed. This could have all been his if he had had enough sense to let go and tell Sara how he truly felt. His thoughts were broken when the door that he had been meaning to knock on opened suddenly.

"Grissom?"

There she was, beautiful. Her hair lay in loose curls, her jeans hugged her in all the right places. The sweatshirt she wore brought out the paleness of her face. Her brown eyes stared at him questioningly.

"What are you doing here?"

What WAS he doing here? Trying to win back her love for him? No that wasn't it. Closure kept popping up in his mind over again and again. That's right, he needed to stop the pain now.

"Is…are you alone?"

She nodded slightly and opened the door a little wider. He could see inside somewhat, it looked awfully homely compared to his sterile townhouse.

"Jordan won't be back for another hour, he uh...he has work to do."

"May I come in?"

She shook her head as if she were in a trance and opened the door to it's full capacity. "Sure."

They sat opposite each other, both looking at anything but each other. He didn't know what he wanted to say. He brown eyes quickly scanned him over, he looked extremely tired.

"So…why are you here Grissom? We haven't spoken since before the wedding. I saw you there, at the back. I'm glad you came."

His tired eyes stared at a framed picture sitting on the table to his right. It was of Sara and Jordan hugging, grinning like fools. How he wished he could be Jordan in that photograph.

"Do you love him?"

Sara was taken aback and stood up rather quickly, her body tensed at what he was trying to imply. "Of course I love him. I wouldn't have married him if I didn't."

"What's so special about him Sara? He works for a construction company. You're a Crime Scene Investigator. You have nothing in common with each other."

Sara stared at her Supervisor in shock. "I…I can't believe you Grissom. What, are you jealous? Poor fucking you. I waited five years Grissom, five long shitty years for you to get a grip and ask me out. But you didn't, and now because I've moved on and found myself someone who loves me in return you come to my house and accuse me of marrying my husband for the sake of it? Who the hell do you think you are?"

Grissom looked her in the eye and shrugged. "I don't know why I came here Sara." He stood up and made his way to the front door. "I'll see myself out."

"Oh no you don't!" She quickly walked to the front door and blocked his way. "You can't come here and accuse me of things and then just leave. What the hell do you want?"

He rubbed his bearded chin and looked at Sara, really looked at her.

"Let me kiss you."

Sara's eyes became nothing more than little slits. Her arms crossed over her chest she stepped towards him "What?"

He licked his lips slowly and looked her in the eye. Her brown orbs hypnotising him. "Let me kiss you."

Slowly they came together, lips moving ever so lightly. Instinct took over and they both needed more contact, the swell of her breasts grazed his chest as tongues stroked each other in a ferocious battle. Bodies collided with each other, closed eyes flickered in passion. Grissom was the first one to pull away. He smiled softly and touched her soft pale cheek with his hand. He could feel the heat radiating from it. He backed away ever so slowly and rounded her now defeated body.

As he walked down the path that led away from her house he smiled. The true Gil Grissom had been let out for only a few moments, but that few short minutes he had been let loose had been heaven. A quote kept popping up in his head, and for once he actually believed in something.

"_One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life:  
that word is love"_


End file.
